content warning
this content is written by andrej synkar at the age of about fifteen under the pseudonym “skyrie raa”. contains dark humor, existential themes, and brief references to sexual violence not meant for some audiences. this is also one of synkar’s best early texts where, even though it was written during adolescence, the dialectic demonstrates advanced grasp of existential rhetoric—structured irony, controlled absurdity, and recursive meta-awareness.
synkar’s comments on the piece
i do agree that sigma 1 is probably one of the best writings from the early period. i still vividly remember all of it, i wrote it after a severe argument with my mother. the important part about all these texts is that they were likely written in emotionally volatile states that i was either forced into or that i put myself into by listening to like dark piano. so its also an affective exercise because i deeply felt any/every word i wrote during that time, and of course i still very much remember everything i wrote down if im even mildly reminded of it. in a certain sense the pieces are affective compositions, translations of my inner states that get re-activated if i re-read the piece.
sigma i on the embarkment of meaning by skyrie raa
figure list:
calibral, an eager, bald, scarred and deranged maniac – a crazy individual, wearing a long, white towel…sometimes;
alseinth, in short words – a joker.
cedric, a “police officer”, offended for an amaranthine amount of time
kawori, an unknown elderly woman, unimportant;
rami xan, non-gender specific aristocrat slave, most notably identifiable as a lamp;
caroline, she doesn’t really wanna talk to me.
porfotrop, he’s cooking. don’t ask him what he’s doing, no that’s not a threat.
zordo, the devil, if represented as an omnipotent figure, author authority… hello.
a faceless man, self-explanatory;
a goat… the most important figure, self-evident by the lowercase g, as if there is a natural hierarchy to letters
slaves, are they universally worthy of the luxury of having a name? think again.
setting: a fjord, separated by a continuous flow of fog, in the middle of the smaller part of a tributary.
on one of the mountains, there exists a basement, imprisoned with vertical metal chains, very easily viewable despite the fog yet seemingly impossible to approach. on the surroundings there seem to only be one house, a small cottage, hidden in plain sight, located in a half-meter hole. easily approachable, difficult to see, yet, what would be the reasoning to even approach it? no animals in sight, no people to be seen. minimal to no living conditions, sky always seems to be showcasing bright colors, such as dark and very mundane grey. a timeless location, with huge waves, constantly eroding the mountains, slowly draining them of their essence. a place that seems to feature not even the mindset of isolation, as if it lost even the fact that it lost everything, as if it ever had something. finally, a location that you cannot imagine ever having anything in, or ever having lost what it already does. a forced serenity.
contents
act 1 – slapping a bunch of sauce on that shit ✓
act 2 – you really changed since i first saw you ✓
act 3 – some old lady is doing something ✘
act 4 – we’re stuck in eternal hell but at least there is goat ✘
setting: nighttime, rain hitting the ground at rapid and continuous succession.
[calibral walks up to the fjord, dressed in a white robe, barely covering him up. he seems to be holding a lamp in his hand, one with numerous slides and switches, which all indicate to do absolutely nothing]
x: you seem like the type of person that is coming from nowhere and is going nowhere…
[calibral seems to show no signs of confusion as he simply continues to walk forward, un-attracted to the vicinity or the commonplace algorithm, unfazed by the existence of neither him nor the sudden voice. he continues to stroll forwards until he stumbles upon a bathtub with a showerhead somewhat measly attached to it]
calibral: i guess that will do.
[he puts the lamp down on the ground and climbs into the shower as he brings the showerhead over, yet, it doesn’t spray any water. he grabs the silky cover of the shower and lets it over himself, attaching it to a nearby stick. a dull stick, not sharp or cunning, but simply… existing. just like every other long vertical stick. he doesn’t even attempt to fix it, he simply lets the showerhead over his head in continuous fashion, deliberately proceeding with the action of showering, not even acting or hysterically depicting stupidity, but realistically proceeding to shower without water. he lets the tube over his head as he spreads the air around his bald head, a single rain drop finding its way through the curtain and onto his skull]
pause
[he presses a finger against his bald head somewhat measily, touching the raindrop that fell on his head, squishing it slowly as it warps into his skin and disappears. the light of the moon suddenly stops shining. a couple of leaves crack in the distance. he pays no attention to it as he suddenly lets the showerhead down, slowly putting it onto the bath tub, a thump sounding off on the receiving end of the bathtub. he moves his body up slowly, twisting his knees forward as he quietly leads the curtain away from his face. he stumbles away from the bathub, snatching the lamp into his hand as his rusty looking knees pile through the dirt]
calibral: do i know this place… i’m sure i’ve seen it before. it seems as if i had forgotten… ah yes…! oh no… that wasn’t it…i’m sure i remember it... do i?
[he starts walking around in circles, unaware of his path, unfocused on his motive, simply stunned by his sudden failure. his cape starts to create circles around him, twisting him around as he catches himself into sudden frenzy]
calibral: ah! i saw this… you know… bath tub… i figured, why walk in a straight line, when i can walk all over the place? i just had a shower after all… what does a thing have to do to not be so hesitant on another thing?
pause
calibral: oh yes! it needs to stop existing. yet, i hope to cling onto some… why am i talking out loud? [he says in a sort of whisper. he continues to talk aloud however, except, without context. he continues to speak with some mumbled voice until…]
calibral: oh… wait… that was not me… [he looks up, suddenly stunned by his own realization… or is it?]
calibral: s…stop it!? [he requests of the unknown voice what might sound to some as piteous supplication rather than a command]
[he continuous to walk forward, conscious of the subsisting narrating voice]
calibral: i will kill you! [he sends a threat to the voice]
calibral: i will kill myself! [he threatens himself]
x: i assume that is more of a test, my old friend…
pause
x: because if it is, it worked.
calibral: reveal yourse-
[he realizes he is standing next to a cliff, suddenly exposed to his near-death experience, as if a danger similar to the one at present was never a possibility]
calibral: what stopped my movement… [he sighs, keeping cautious of his movement away from the cliff. he realizes that the rain seems to get more aggressive the more he turns away from the cliff. he walks back towards it, not because of the realization which he had never made, but because of me]
pause
[he faces his existence once again, standing up straight and facing forward, realizing a cliff exists opposite him, on the other side of a river. he looks up at the cliff, attempting to hold the lamp forward. he notices a sudden sound coming from bottom side of the mountain. the area seems to slightly light up due to the toggle of a light switch. he notices a red-colored, beautiful figure-
calibral: don’t put words into my mouth [he says, still unable to find the location of the sound]
[he notices a red-colored, monstrous figure holding a light switch connected to a lamp, yet… he is still unable to see anything. while brightness seems to not have any effect in his vision, he suddenly realizes he can see without it just fine]
calibral: a heartbeat… two… three… eight… a knife… blood spilling onto the ground, slowly… leaves crackling in the distance… a deer?
[he hears laughing sounds in the distance. he wonders how the voice is able to laugh while narrating. may it be a secret forever?]
pause
[he understands far beyond what the voice had expected]
calibral: yo-… no! how could…! how da- [a sudden sound appears]
[a sudden figure appears from beneath the leaves]
alseinth: do not… talk to…
calibral: who…?
alseinth: you know who…
calibral: answer me! [he shrugs]
alseinth: your narra-beautiful creature [he holds his mouth down with his hands as if he has free will]
[alseinth laughs out loud, mercilessly]
alseinth: you see what i mean!?
calibral: do they not like to be reffe-
pause
[he suddenly teleports to a hospital]
calibral: …oh… the narration stopped…
pause
alseinth: oh, you’re awake… finally…! it’s been how much now… if only i could remember… days, in the minimu-
calibral: you don’t know what just happened! i saw this crazy lady when i stood up from the bed, she repeated the last phrase i said after me before stabbing me with a-… days? i had only been gone for minutes!
alseinth: what?! no, i have been waiting here for a long time… it must have been at least a week before your sudden appearance. [alseinth is caught in the confusion] look, it isn’t raining anymore—see?
calibral: huh?! it’s true… [he looks around] and what about the…
[fear can instantly be seen running across alseinth’s face]
alseinth: i beg of you, ignore it!
calibral: but—
[alseinth simply stands quiet, his face picturing his distressed past in a flash of melancholy]
calibral: i understand…
pause
alseinth: i recommend not… not paying attention to the… background noise
calibral: what is happening…?
alseinth: aristocrats are fucked up that’s all i’m planning to say…
calibral: are they fucked up or are they getting fucked up…?
alseinth: i wouldn’t know…
calibral: isn’t this rape?
alseinth: does it matter? [he looks directly into calibral’s eyes]
calibral: how is that allowed! what is this!? this is insane! [he moves his arms up in distress, shocked of his sudden lack of action and understanding of the world]
alseinth: do you like… say we should do something…
calibral: of course, here i’m going to… stand up…
[he attempts to move his leg away from the rock he seems to not even know he is sitting on, but suddenly feels a sharp pain in his back]
calibral: ahh!
[he slowly slouches around as alseinth watches him with a stupefied face]
alseinth: do you understand now?
calibral: the thing is attacking me!
alseinth: no, no, you have it all wrong…
calibral: what?
alseinth: that’s simply your back…
calibral: how!
alseinth: backs hurt when you stand up… you didn’t know that!?
calibral: since when!?
alseinth: since forever! have you even been living on this globe?! you must’ve forgot.
calibral: ah yes! forgot! that must be it…
alseinth: do you switch from acting stupid to reckless on a regular basis?
calibral: if you’re going to make a blunt statement at least act depressed that i have to put on this dumb act to avoid pain.
alseinth: that happens to all humans…
calibral: human!?
alseinth: what?
calibral: …nothing…
alseinth: are you implying you are different?
calibral: see, i would only hope so… yet, would it make a difference?
alseinth: yes.
calibral: why?
alseinth: humanity… is doomed.
calibral: h—[he suddenly hears the sounds coming from the basement. he finally manages to visualize a picture]
alseinth: more importantly… the lamp.
calibral: what?
alseinth: the lamp you are holding… why?
calibral: i am searching for someone…
alseinth: who…?
calibral: well… its not an individual…
alseinth: …go on then!
calibral: see i would explain… but that would be useless…
alseinth: what! why?
calibral: quit it… what’s the point… [he looks down, his back suddenly cracking] ah!
pause
alseinth: you do not need the lamp to see…
calibral: why? [he suddenly manages to envision the inside of the prison cages, judging from the sound. he drops the lamp in an agonizing smash] you’re right… and, to be honest… sometimes i wish i didn’t see anything.
alseinth: too bad we live in a world where that isn’t a choice. [a smile can be seen on his face]
calibral: yet finding delirium in suffering is an option? i never chose to be born in this shit-hole…
alseinth: you can speak for both of us there…
pause
calibral: so uh… who… who are you? [he looks up at alseinth, staring into his eyes as if he has done it before]
alseinth: me? oh, now we’re getting to the useless information, it was a short-while i’m sure…
pause
alseinth: i’m insane! [he laughs hysterically]
calibral: surely not, you’re alseinth.
alseinth: how do you… oh… of course…
calibral: you don’t seem insane…
alseinth: it matters not what you think of it… or me… only society. the only way you see a clear picture of yourself is through the eyes of other… no matter how much you vow against that picture. it is the others who can see you clearly without the lenses of memory or emotion, but only after you say something important. important, of course, to you, not to them. anything, at all. that is how a first impression is made, the rest are just assumptions.
calibral: carrot.
[they both start laughing… calibral stops and starts staring into the enormous distance behind alseinth]
calibral: well you might as well be crazy…
alseinth: you make my words a reality.
calibral: should they not be?
alseinth: only a twisted hell…
calibral: are you implying something… or?
alseinth: only insinuating…
calibral: what is with the eye-patch? [he stares directly into alseinth]
alseinth: i had this lover once…
pause
alseinth: i wanted to snatch her under my carpet… and kiss her for weeks upon end… i wanted to have intercourse with her mother too… and her whole family...
[calibral laughs]
alseinth: she was that beautiful. i remember clearly… seeing her under her windowseal… i was a creep… if i only i could remember the time… goddammit i can’t-
[they suddenly feel a presence watching them as they both turn around in an instant flicker]
calibral: that’s one of the rules!?
alseinth: usually not… got angry…
calibral: how long have you been here?
alseinth: it’s been some time… how… [he looks down, his eyes suddenly opening] you know… that’s funny… i can’t really remember… what was i talking about?! oh… right… i remember wanting to hug her and love her for ages… i dreamt of her every single night… until… one night, it really happened! we met as i was walking home… she had always found a certain disturbance within me… yet, when she saw my face… and my eyes… we suddenly clicked. i took her home and…
pause
alseinth: she stabbed me with a knife…
[calibral starts laughing]
pause
[calibral’s face can be seen getting darker the more time passes]
calibral: that’s it…?
[alseinth looks down, ashamed of his story]
[calibral detects a piece of gravel sitting on the ground. he approaches it slowly, being cautious not of the dangers of the rock but of alseinth’s judgment. he reaches the piece of gravel, taking hold of it as he attempts to straighten his back and hide his backside, not fully succeeding but pre-proposing that if he’s fast enough, his speed may be of use to fail the receival of judgment. a flux of wind suddenly emerges behind him, blowing the gravel into his face. he simply lets the piece down as he turns around, in anorexic shock, opening his mouth widely, as a method of contemporary power and replacement of his previous dull successions of failure]
alseinth: i would only laugh at you if i had nothing else to do. i would choose my entertainment over your happiness only when i had nothing to do. me being blunt comes not out of lack of care for you, but more because of the fact i still have the memory of your pity over my story.
calibral: as if the only reason spying is evil is not for the care of privacy, but for the fact a person’s mindset changes in the gist of a social picture. snap out of it, who’s acting here? [he shouts, the last vocal of his voice creaking through the trees behind alseinth. alseinth looks behind him, ignoring his conversing and walking around]
alseinth: over there! i see freedom!
[he walks over to a nearby broken bench. he turns back around]
alseinth: ah, no. it’s just a bench.
calibral: is it still used for sitting if it’s broken?
alseinth: what else would it be used for [knowing better, he proclaims]
calibral: was it ever used for sitting?
alseinth: would answering make you shut up?
calibral: would you ask me to shut up in hell if i was next to you, surrounded by demons? or maybe, would your question change if behind you was a piece of unrestricted magical rope, one no-one stops you from using, not even yourself?
alseinth: if i had no superego or boredom my answer to the first and only question wouldn’t have been so pessimistic, if i had answered it instead of saying this. in the second scenario there is no feedback, i’m simply dead.
calibral: did cedric give up when he defeated those criminals and rose to fame? was he but only a gladiator, and not a man with dreams? does his job define him or does he define his job?
alseinth: if your context is that of one where you claim i give up meaning to fulfill pleasure, make sure to understand that i would’ve been a different person almost instantly by teleporting there, even if i was my current self then. giving up isn’t a sign of anything, it’s simply a proceeding act. unavoidable when its written. why would it be prejudiced mentally? and… i was going to say something… yet i forgot… [he stands still, looking at calibral]
[calibral stares back as he sneakingly digs deeper into the sound from the basement, knowing i know of his act yet uncannily continuing. he suddenly looks up]
pause
[calibral suddenly shakes his head and cleanses his eyes with his hands, looking up at alseinth]
calibral: what day is it?!
alseinth: i didn’t know last time. what makes you think i improved? [he sits down on the ground, sliding himself around on the dirt]
calibral: don’t do that! you’ll get dirty!
alseinth: i’m aware… [he continues sliding]
calibral: right, sorry. what got a hold of me? i never thought i’d get to a point where i tell people to stop entertaining themselves away from the urge to die… what got into me… oh… right… what the fuck is that?
alseinth: it took you a while to ask… i almost thought you forgot [he looks up at the sky]
calibral: why is it that when i look at these animals the sky turns into a walled ceiling and when i look away, forgetting it is it goes back to normal? [his chest suddenly starts irresistibly hurting, judging by his sitting position, in which he seems to be struggling rather than attempting to stop the pain. has he given up?]
alseinth: it hurts more when you state it perfectly clear. try going around a little bit next time…
calibral: i get what i do on purpose.
alseinth: it was unavoidable?
calibral: that’s debatable
alseinth: he’s not really in pain…
calibral: what?
alseinth: he’s a philosophical zombie. he feels no pain. only imitates the following effect of it. the shouting is fake, it’s self-created as a protection method. he’s dead, like a doll. emotionless on the inside, only, you cannot see it on the outside.
calibral: when did i ask about what’s happening in the sky?
alseinth: you just did!
calibral: no i did not! [he stands in a guarding position]
[alseinth laughs]
calibral: did i…?
alseinth: quite possibly. what makes you think you did not?
calibral: why would i ever?
alseinth: most likely an effect due to inaction
calibral: i would suppose so.
alseinth: all i know is that, first of all, they’re not animals, they are humans, and secondly, i believe he is cursed.
calibral: [he looks up] which one?
alseinth: what do you think? [he tilts his head backwards]
calibral: how should i know?
alseinth: it’s obviously the one in pain…
calibral: but you said he doesn’t feel pain?
alseinth: he doesn’t need to feel pain for life to hurt
calibral: is he even alive?
alseinth: well i’m not sure he’s alive, but i do know he’s bored
calibral: huh… oh yes, you can see by the gust of irritation surrounding his cheek. looks like his face is stuck in place, surrounded by the shit of its existence
alseinth: his eyes are piercing through you like my dead parents glances are when i look to the side
calibral: they’re watching you…?
alseinth: well i wouldn’t really know…
pause
calibral: are you attempting to suggest the existence of the thread you’re hanging from? cause i knew it from the start…
[alseinth deliberately starts tangling himself further around his rope]
alseinth: i wouldn’t tangle myself further, there is no justification to death
calibral: so, is that all you know of them?
alseinth: who?
calibral: the… people?
alseinth: which people?
calibral: how many people really are there in this surrounding?
alseinth: well i wouldn’t know, i’ve never looked
calibral: you could easily if you were to untangle that rope
alseinth: [smirks] don’t joke around like that
calibral: so…?
alseinth: [looks up] well… one of them [he takes out a piece of cloth from under his jacket. he looks at it as if it’s a written script from another planet, tilting his head forward, his eyes staring a thousand miles into the piece of cloth] i can’t… remember.
calibral: what? it doesn’t say on the fabric?
alseinth: what? oh no, this is just a piece of trash… [he throws it on the ground]
calibral: concentrate!
alseinth: why? you’re not in danger. don’t be so harsh on yourself, there’s no reason to rush things, they’ll come eventually
calibral: but i want them now!
alseinth: if you want them now, you’ll have nothing left over for later
calibral: i don’t care.
alseinth: i’ve always wondered whether i don’t care is a sign of ignorance or just pure denial due to the luxury of being able to choose whether to care.
calibral: i don’t care…
pause
alseinth:
act 2 – you really changed since i first saw you
calibral: you never told me why you’re waiting here like i am… [he suddenly sparks up a conversation]
alseinth: likewise… okay i give up! i am waiting for it to happen…
calibral: it took you less than ten seconds! [he states in endorsement] waiting for…what? [he scratches his face in rapid succession, moving the skin above his forehead up and down]
alseinth: something…
calibral: and if it does not? [he moves his head up, now facing alseinth]
alseinth: nothing.
calibral: are you sure?
alseinth: it’s self-evident.
calibral: how?
alseinth: everything is these days.
calibral: which days?
alseinth: upon the days where we title the ones that never come as “these”
pause
calibral: when do they ever come?
alseinth: when you’re sure that they do… [he looks up, unable to see anything except his own reflection in the clouds, imagined by his lack of creativity or his hope for an interesting event to suddenly emerge]
pause
calibral: which day is it…? [he asks, in a stressful fashion]
alseinth: …how should i know?
calibral: that’s right. how should a manifestation occur at a point in time if time itself has given up?
alseinth: seek no information where the subject does not exist.
calibral: does that recommendation matter?
alseinth: nothing matters…
pause
alseinth: we require help only where the extinguishment of pain is necessary… those idiots don’t know it never is!
calibral: and this is why you struggle… such a dull statement… as if it pains you to be blunt…
alseinth: if life was not mundane you would’ve never said that [he says in a coarsely fashion, as if the pure diligence of calibral offended him. as if it really mattered!]
calibral: which means you suggest there is no current point in time where i wouldn’t have said that…
alseinth: i was born to hear the rumbling of an idiot?
calibral: considering the very essence of life is to be enslaved, that should be an honor.
alseinth: i would rather my head be filled with lies than be with the empty subject of truth.
calibral: i would much rather die…
alseinth: as if that would free you?
calibral: i do not search to be exempt of life, simply for existence itself to be eradicated, to suddenly stop! [he shouts, coarsely, as if his vocals would be able to change the inevitable]
alseinth: your struggles trouble me [he says, sitting down on the ground, surprised of the ground’s distance from his ass]
calibral: you are a king! [he suddenly shouts, his laughter echoing]
alseinth: i am?
calibral: yes! you sit down with your ass and you moan and weep of others when really it is yourself who troubles you…
alseinth: i would tell you that you’re correct but then my dignity would drop irrefutably… and the ground is no throne!
calibral: i would tell you to say it anyway but from the moment you mentioned your dignity onward your compliments will never have the same truth to them… [he suddenly gets a gory feeling, the revenge of existence is profusely unalterable, and that is a shame of its own!] [he looks down at the ground] and yes… the ground is no throne but yet the most respected individuals are still seated on their asses.
[alseinth grumbles in agreement]
pause
alseinth: i only grumble when i have the right to. complaining is, in retrospect, a sign of weakness [he wonders, as if he unfolded some extravagant truth]
[calibral looks down in shallow disappointment]
calibral: what is the point of waiting?
alseinth: there is none… we could look around! [as if his light suddenly switched on]
calibral: and that would fix the urge to kill ourselves?
alseinth: you can fix that by simply understanding that it is too late to kill yourself.
calibral: why?
alseinth: how old are you? [he faces him in an eagerly passion, his eyes burning yellow with the painted scarlet of existential superiority]
calibral: i am twenty-six years old yet it feels as if i am fourty-five.
alseinth: that means you are twenty-six years too late to suicide.
calibral: what is the point now anyways…?
alseinth: the point is to live out your life yet act as if you are already dead. alternatively, not exactly dead, but rather, to live yet act as if you are to die any second now, but even if you were, that act would not matter. live as though you should’ve taken revenge, but were too lazy. live as though you should take revenge, but you admit you are as weak as a threat not worth remembering. live as though every second of life pierces through your skin but does no damage. after all, if you have a one-hundred percent chance of death, aren’t you already dead? if the inevitable has not happened yet, that does not mean it hasn’t happened, simply, you have not registered it. live as if you know only of that, but would never approach it directly…
calibral: yet, that is too much effort…
alseinth: look, if you could simply explain who you are looking for, i may be able to help you!
calibral: it is not an entity, and explaining, as a human interference is utterly useless. people do not understand enough to communicate needs necessarily without causing a sudden miss-convenience to each other, regardless of context or matter. it is simple semantics, not worth the struggle of struggling.
alseinth: yet you cause the biggest miss-convenience when you repeat your ugly tunes.
calibral: you are quite a good joker… [he laughs miserably, suddenly becoming self-reflective and brining his mood down]
alseinth: and now you only refer with prejudice?
calibral: seriously, what day is it?
[alseinth stands up in annoyance and walks away, yet he hears the screams coming from the basement within the mountain and instantly walks back to his standing point]
calibral: why are we unable to leave this place?!
alseinth: because life means something…
calibral: what did you just utter? [he can be seen smiling]
alseinth: life has a meaning. we –
[calibral stands up and starts clapping between the echoes of his laughter]
calibral: now that’s comedy alright! what a surprise!
alseinth: what?
calibral: meaning? did you just say we are universally valued!? did you just say we mean something! [his delirium reaches a peak as he almost falls down]
alseinth: in retrospect…
calibral: there is no retrospect! even he’s here of all things!
[zordo slightly faces calibral, calibral can only feel his presence, zordo is aware of that fact]
calibral: we were born to be defeated! for souls like us, even nurturing wouldn’t help! we’re not even fucked, this is all of humanity! this is how worthless we are!
alseinth: that’s always perspective-wise…
calibral: exactly!
alseinth: life is an illusion, yet there are moments worth living, young man.
calibral: i wouldn’t go as far as to say that… not even on a good day…
alseinth: you feel as though revenge is something you are able to wield.
calibral: humanity is able-less.
alseinth: sincerely.
pause
alseinth: there was only a pause because we came to an agreement.
calibral: naturally [he looks down, and finds a small white rock. he gazes down on it, and sees his pitiful reflection] the order of animals…
alseinth: i don’t like you…!
calibral: cah! now you’re being me!
alseinth: look—
calibral: where?
alseinth: o—
calibral: i cannot.
alseinth: look at yourse—
calibral: i’d rather not. it discomforts me!
alseinth: what doesn’t in this life…
pause
alseinth: explain to me, why? why do we suffer? why do we die…? i’m talking to you! [he backs off a little bit, afraid of his eagerness]
zordo: why don’t you explain to us why we suffer? [he turns his head towards rami xan]
rami xan: why not?
zordo: oh! so eager-less! what magnificence!
alseinth: it is faking its own pleasure…?
calibral: naturally, there is none.
[alseinth feels a sudden throbbing in his chest as he falls to his knees]
alseinth: you trouble me, you are aware?
calibral: you trouble yourself. [he answers sluggishly]
alseinth: i am at home here…!
calibral: he who thinks he is at home understands nothing of this world and has no creativity in the place where you could go without any.
alseinth: i want to go home
calibral: you stand next to a cliff. the choice is yours.
alseinth: there are no choices, it is pre-determined.
zordo: you people are ridiculous [he turns around] of course, that is what i had wished.
[both of them turn away from zordo, barely succeeding]
calibral: i feel useless [he moans, his head still bent sideways, his cloak modified not to hang as it stretches around his throat, making him uncomfortable]
alseinth: i cannot comment on that.
calibral: it’s funny.
alseinth: hilarious.
calibral: everything i do, i leave it unfinished [he laughs, suddenly stopping his smile]
alseinth: that is self-destructive.
calibral: no, my friend, it is self-evident.
alseinth: if i could choose to not be here…
calibral: you could…
alseinth: i can’t!
calibral: why? [he turns his head sideways]
alseinth: i am waiting for something to happen.
calibral: your troubles, much like yourself, reek with disappointment.
alseinth: know your place! [he suddenly shatters]
calibral: people get tortured for acting stupid beyond anything else…
alseinth: yet, jokers do not!
calibral: they might start with you…
alseinth: nothing should start with me…
calibral: or have any affiliation with…
[alseinth stands up]
alseinth: useless, it is!
[he grabs a small rock and throws it, unable to see where it lands]
[it disappears into the sky]
calibral: and that is the end of it…
alseinth: if that could be my life…
pause
sigma ii rednegsnart by skyrie raa
content warning
this content is written by andrej synkar at the age of about fifteen under the pseudonym “skyrie raa”. content contains explicit depictions of physical violence, sexual coercion, and bodily degradation. not meant for most audiences
allegorical intent
the work is an absurdist sociological allegory. its characters, violence, and obscenity represent the collapse of meaning in a society governed by automation, alienation, and moral entropy.
figure list
krombrag, stuck
laetus , soaking into descent
houve, young and dumb
nosecandy, mocking slave
luther, the king
sperm bank employee, he likes drinking
printscreen, privacy control
flashey, doesn’t know what its doing
kaluna, thankful
aryela, proud
ione, precise and ugly
lesbians, self-explanatory, yes they are characters, no they’re not here for reproduction, only unnecessary pleasure.
keysa, might also be a lesbian even though it’s a male, who knows?
ninjago ortegon.
setting: dark. a little creeky. couple locations you didn’t know were there. a few cyllinders on the way. lots of construction and tubes. very few places to go but filled with things in the way. couple of companies here and there. interconnected houses. huge screens displaying information usually disliked by the masses. always a few people on the side talking. always unwanted visitors. lots of theologians and mathematicians, all here to make profit. some candles, a few rape victims and a bag of old raspberries practically everywhere. flip-flops, old dead birds on the ground no one cleaned up because no one was paid to do so. people complaining, some not complaining but having an average time in life. doctors, most of them wearing really long spikes instead of noses with metal masks. no one cares about most things. some get carried away and dragged on the street. some are aware but don’t care. the mood is quite average. candles are beautiful but rare. the jungle has some unwanted visitors around midnight. impossible to have a good time sleeping. it’s not anyone’s fault – it’s just how it is, except you cant move out. you can complain but it’ll only make you sadder. you can work in factories, that might give some profit. leaves on the ground. the sea is full of shit all around. maybe a nice river with a person jumping from it. random thunderstorms lasting a very short amount of time, but being quite scary and common, and specifically close to you and the people around you for some reason. always someone missing. always someone behind you. even when there’s no one you still gotta wait for the red light. if you mention it people get annoyed. three poles all ordered in a circle by size. you can climb up but then you’ll have to climb back down or you’ll starve or maybe get shot. drugs, but they’re uncommon and only done in parks. couples, but one of them is only there for the sex and the other usually is cause there’s nothing else to do. a lot of jokers but they all suck. suicide victims everybody tries to stop… transgender people… some ugly politicians with uglier body guards. that weird laugh kids do. unstable overall. why is it so dark, seriously? and the lights have to be blue whenever there are some? the café’s are nice but there’s always someone to stop you from sitting down. if you drop something, even if its useless people will go out of their way to help you take it back and then offend you for your misguided persona even if you don’t care. some funeral happened a couple of days ago, that’s the talk of the week now. women usually slobber like pigs and have really fat faces with plumped up cheeks. some random fucker starting his car in the background, karen, the kids are yelling again. god knows what happens in the background. for science, a flying bicycle was just invented but it doesn’t work… at least it charges your battery, cant have everything. always someone staring at their phone. people will never start conversations unless absolutely necessary. this is the most self aware text written about rednegsnart, everything else is worse. there’s a guy, and he’s stuck. poor guy. and a woman standing on those pipes. it’s dark, the usual. some old man complaining in the background. it’s storming outside, ice falling from the sky, that’s the other talk of the week.
contents
act 1 – we are the projection of the universe in the carcasses of alien meat bodies, floating around endlessly, and we are forever cemented in many things, all of which are unnecessary ✓
act 2 – happy faces ✘
act 3 – he’s handicapable of having a job ✘
act 4 – ninjago ortegon ✘
act 1 – we are the projection of the universe in the carcasses of alien meat bodies, floating around
endlessly, and we are forever cemented in many things, all of which are unnecessary
setting: how did i get in this place anyways?
krombrag: help! help! [krombrag grumbles in fury] i am going to die!
laetus: who?
krombrag: me! i’ve been stuck in this pipe for [checks the watch on his right hand] twenty seconds now! [the pipe is opened enough for laetus to directly inspect krombrag and his actions, but not wide enough for krombrag to pull himself out]
laetus: why?
krombrag: i don’t know…! i was bored!
laetus: wait who are you anyways? [laetus stands up swiftly]
krombrag: it’s me! krombrag!
laetus: oh, it’s just you… [he sits back down, sorrowfully]
krombrag: what do you mean it’s just me! i took care of you as a baby! i bought those crocs for your daughter! i cleared your front porch every weekend for free! it’s me! remember?! your friend!
pause
krombrag: what the fuck! why won’t you pull me out! [he shakes unconditionally, hitting his head on the top of the pipe, which coincidentally seems to be made of stone]
laetus: oh, stop being such a crybaby, will you!
krombrag: but i am literally dying!
[laetus walks up and puts a piece of black duck tape on krombrag’s mouth. krombrag pulls it out slowly, his mouth watering due to the tape’s color, the pimples around his face starting to bleed]
laetus: put it back on! [laetus shouts uncontrollably]
krombrag: but… but why!? i trusted you!
laetus: i don’t know! you’re bothering me! go away!
krombrag: but out of all people i thought you would be as kind enough to realize i am dying!
laetus: shut up! whore!
krombrag: please! at least give me a glass of water!
laetus: a glass of what!? how triggering! get it yourself you lazy rascal!
krombarg: but i cant! i’m stuck, i told you already! why are you doing this!
[laetus sits back down]
krombrag: all the blood is going to my head, the pipe is fourty five degrees sideways!
laetus: stop talking will you?!
krombrag: please! my head and my stomach hurt a lot! my wife just died! i’m emotionally unstable and i’m stuck and i you won’t even take me out! i can’t go to work tomorrow!
laetus: can’t go to work? who do you think you are?
pause
krombrag: wait! what am i saying! fuck that! i will actually die! has it reached that point, where i’m afraid of my job more than my very life, and upcoming painful death! please, why are you doing this, your best friend is dying!
laetus: i don’t have best or worst friends, they’re all the same to me.
krombrag: that’s out of the question! please, i can’t scratch myself on my back!
laetus: what?! where!
krombrag: i just told you, on my back!
laetus: where, i can’t see it!
krombrag: just come behind me!
laetus: okay [he lifts himself from the chair he put himself in] where is it?
krombrag: i told you a million times, on my damn back!
laetus: but where specifically?
krombrag: just scratch around, you’ll find it.
[laetus proceeds to furiously scratch krombrag’s back with both of his hands
laetus: did i get it?
krombrag: oh yeah, that’s better [he sighs in relief] my head still hearts though, will you get me out now?
[laetus seems to be distracted in the distance]
krombrag: laetus?
pause
krombrag: laetus!
[laetus screams in panic]
krombrag: help me!
laetus: what who!?
krombrag: you’re friend, krombrag. i’ve been stuck in this pipe for a while now!
laetus: why do you have a piece of tape on your mouth?
krombrag: you put it there!
laetus: i did…? oh yeah, i did put that there. well i better help you keep it on [he pisses on the duck tape, sticking it to the blood on krombrag’s mouth]
krombrag: what! n-
[laetus puts the piece of tape back on]
laetus: you have got a bit of blood on your face, maybe care for your face more next time, jerk
[krombrag moves around in revolt, unable to take the duck tape off his mouth]
laetus: hey! houve!
houve: laetus! what’ve you been doing recently?
laetus: nothing much really, i’ve just been waiting for someone.
houve: who?
laetus: i don’t really know, i haven’t seen in his face.
houve: why?
laetus: cause it’s pitch black. i can’t see anybody. you could be a serial killer and i wouldn’t know
houve: haha, yeah i could be!
laetus: as a matter of fact, krombrag, how did you manage to check what time it is!
[muffled noises]
laetus: huh, guess he’s busy doing something.
houve: hey, i’ve got an idea! how about you bite his arm off, maybe he’ll realize you’re talking to him next time and not be such a jerk.
laetus: huh, yeah that does sound like a good idea [laetus moves his broken leg towards krombrag’s pipe where krombrag lays, unwillingly]
laetus: huh? why is my leg suddenly broken? [he willows in fear, starting to cry] must be the wind…
houve: yes, it must be. the wind has been particularly nasty these days!
[laetus walks up to krombrag, biting his arm swiftly. a chunk of his arm falls on the floor. laetus continuous to savagely rape his arm, touring bits of his flesh off and spitting them out]
laetus: why is the economy so bad! why? see! what is this!? a chunk of flesh on the ground! what type of idiot would leave this here [laetus starts spitting on the dead meat]
laetus: oh no! my friend is bleeding! it’ll be okay buddy! [he runs his hand over the wound, putting his dirty fingers into the open wound multiple times, stirring the dirt on his hand with the blood around krombrag’s open palm]
laetus: dammit! what have they done to my friends! the people in power of rednegsnart should be vaccinated for their crimes!
houve: i agree! these bimbo-headed majors deserve to have that poison in their blood!
laetus: exactly! it’s good we’re clean and healthy! we would never dirty someone else’s blood, isn’t that right krombrag? [he looks towards krombrag, tears running down his face, wetting the tape around his mouth which seems to be slowly peeling off together with the piss falling down his throat]
houve: if only we weren’t so useless…
pause
laetus: yeah, i must say. we’re really good for managing to make a reality for ourselves, considering the fact we’re such useless creatures in this fake world. we manage to make it look incredibly real despite that!
[two lesbians are having sex right next to krombrag’s suffocating pipe while laetus continues to spit on his flesh]
[krombrag muffles and then finally manages to get the duck tape away]
krombrag: don’t spit on my dead arms, you sick bastard!
laetus: yeah, houve, why would you do such a thing!
krombrag: i’m talking to you, laetus, you criminal scum piece of shit!
laetus: me? but how could you? i thought we were friends and you… you betray me like this? [he shouts in anger]
[nosecandy smashes his head against the window of a small barrack right next to the pipe krombrag is stuck in, right in front of a massive building with a triangular roof with two small windows next to each other at the very top of the building with the triangular roof]
houve: why are lesbians more socially accepted than gay people, tell me, slave!
[nosecandy opens the window]
nosecandy: because female are slaves by nature, and it’s overall easier to reproduce if females have sexual ties towards eachother, therefore resulting in it being way more accepted. of course, humans aren’t aware of that, they simply go with whatever gives them pleasure [he opens his little house, stepping outside into the creek, a thunderstorm in the distance lighting up the view for a second, nosecandy’s nose hook flashing before houve’s glasses and young round face]
houve: and why aren’t you a female?
nosecandy: because i wasn’t born a slave. i was made one
houve: why?
nosecandy: i was born into an abusive family. it’s a mental illness, it left me unqualified for survival, and my brain was damaged enough that it had no other choice
houve: (or maybe he does have another one but is unaware of it… oh well i better not tell him – houve thinks for himself) hmm, i see.
nosecandy: it’s the same with criminals. most serial killers for example were made due to their childhood, unwillingly. all babies are equal at birth, however there’s a sudden psychological advantage and disadvantage . natural selection is unfair and cruel, just how life itself is. people aren’t given a choice, their brains are fucked up regardless. some gain pleasure from murder being so restricted and unwanted, unseen, which gives it a certain beauty when it happens due to the fact it’s a part of life, regardless of the fact its antisocial nature shifts your brain and makes you dumber in the end due to physical self protection acquired mentally, its still weakening but those who have bad faith and don’t wish for their future only want momentary pleasure, and delve deep into it.
[houve gets slightly annoyed at the truth of nosecandy’s words, according to what he thinks]
houve: now now, lets not get carried away talking about murderers.
nosecandy: it’s a real thing. unlike the pleasure within murder, some find life boring and do it as a way to spend their time, others murder for money or fame, others do it for the freedom of not having to follow rules, some are psychologically fucked up from the start and hadn’t a choice, yet they were punished anyways. but the worst of all, some do it because they have no other choice, but physically. they lack the resources for living, food, drink. they must do it, and are shown no mercy due to them reeking havoc. the police found a new way of tracking them down. they decided to look at the map as an animal farm, finding the best places to raid food from and placing their defense there. so far it has resulted perfectly, massively minimizing crime. we are just like animals, there is no difference. we think of reproduction as a means of survival and love regardless whether it really is or isn’t. we are another species of animal, raiding, murdering, fucking, spitting, being itchy, gagging and most of us never realize it due to trivial problems such as economical risk or necessity or choice or the fact we have to survive. we don’t even see our fucked up psychology as a level of intelligence, we are weak and foul minded and get offended when being called that. just like dogs we hunt, kill murder and raid, and once we are in a position where we lose, we fear for our insignificant and good-willed death, like we aren’t maleficent and unworthy of understanding things more. if there isn’t a better way of parenting, then let there be killers, and let the world suffer to our diminishment.
[houve looks down at the ground, with fear in his eyes. he steals one of laetus’ pieces of duck tape using a candle]
nosecandle: oh, you found a candle?
houve: shut up, nosehook!
[houve strandles nosehook, taping his mouth up and smashing him with a piece of glass]
nosehook: why master, why!
houve: shut up and die, idiotic slave! let the words of your mouth paint your realization you are human scum. if all you do is take in air and throw it back out, airconditioners and fans do a way better job!
[as nosehook’s neck gets pierced, the piece of glass slides towards krombrag. krombrag looks at himself in the mirror, noticing his ugly reflection, the piss on his head, the sweat on his forehead, his plumped up cheeks, the blood running down his mouth, and his stupid – stupid face. stupid looking, stupid existing, unwanted, overly-shocked, soulless, self-agitated, itchy, stupidly surprised, easily punch-able]
laetus: hey, don’t you hear those screams? eh, its probably just the lesbians again...
krombrag: is this me? is this me in this mirror? i don’t want this to be me. i’m way more than this. i never wished for this. why now? why here? i can’t move! i don’t want to stare at this, its boring me!
houve: boredom is a friendly version of disgust. if your own birth face annoys you, you will find everything extremely disturbing. maybe you shouldn’t be here after all, despite your memory damaged friend
laetus: i’ve never heard of that guy before!
krombrag: help im stuck in this tube! i feel grossed out im actually going to die [krombrag obviously shouts, disturbingly shaking the tube]
[laetus leaves together with his chair, sitting on it while walking away sideways like a penguin, hitting himself on a wall, blood dripping down to his new trousers.
laetus: fuck, they’re new! [he screams] oh no! i have work! what am i going to do now?
houve: you’re in fear and trembling… or something like that… modern society thing, can’t really do much about it
laetus: wha- what are you talking about!? oh no… what if i cancel? what if i quit? please somebody quit it for me… or rearrange it for another date. oh no! what am i going to do? i’m fucked. they better just take me and execute me now [he spreads his arms out like a delinquent, and nothing happens, so he sits back down on his chair, now completely cut off from reality altogether]
houve: i’ve got no time for this! i’m going to go and meet the king. [houve walks forward, bumping himself on a tree]
luther: greetings, dear houve!
houve: what, i thought you were a tree!
[luther hands houve a candle] here, take this!
houve: i got no time for you, i’m going to be meeting the king!
luther: i am the king! i’m here, just for you!
houve: no you’re not…
luther: yes i am! look, it’s a crown [the king rotates his crown around]
houve: oh… well i’m not interested anymore, you can go now…
[luther mumbles a little bit, shouts a few threats and then leaves sloppily, forgetting his candle and falling into a river, slowly drowning while everybody stares and nobody helps him. not that we can see everybody, it’s just assumed people have no where to go so they’re probably there]
[krombrag stares at himself horrifyingly]
krombrag: this isn’t me! this isn’t me!
[houve simply leaves and sits on a rock, or what he supposes is a rock]
laetus: what have they done to our jobs. i knew this one girl, she could read all my favorite philsophers perfectly. now she works for ten pieces of flour a night, poor girl. she doesn’t deserve this. what have they done to our economy. who keeps taking all our jobs! we don’t know but it’s definitely somebody! [laetus takes a sip from a cup on the floor]
laetus: what even is this white liquid anyways?
[sperm bank employee walks up]
sperm bank employee: oh no…
laetus: what?
sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk!
laetus: oh, sorry…
sperm bank employee: time to get punished! [sperm bank employee strips laetus, spanking him at the same tune the lesbians are having sex, making music while hitting him]
krombrag: help me! help!
sperm bank employee: what?
krombrag: i’m stuck in a tube!
sperm bank employee: what is this nonsense?
krombrag: please get me out!
pause
sperm bank employee: will you pay me?
krombrag: i have this watch…
sperm bank employee: where?
[krombrag attempts to get himself into a position where his arm is visible to the sperm bank employee]
sperm bank employee: i can’t see it.
krombrag: move like ten centimeters to see it
sperm bank employee: ah! what a hussle! i already have one anyways! [sperm bank employee leaves]
krombrag: what!? don’t leave me! [krombrag bleeds through his nose, his wound catching an infection]
pause